Vancouver BC
Hello, my little pudding pops. MomBrain is back from a long weekend in Victoria BC, which is in the 51st state of Canada. We like Canada. We like Canadians. Except for the monopoly money they are just like us. Oh - I forgot. Their government is sane. (Hm - I wonder how much houses cost up there?)
Here are the highlights:
In a long line of vendors, a vaguely ethnic 50-ish man sat in front of a pen and paper. He held a simple sign: "Personalised. I will to write pomes." For the rest of my life I will regret not taking him up on it. What if the universe was trying to tell me something? Who cares if the universe can't spell? A pome! I could have had a pome!
The surefire cure for a constipated preschooler: Go swimming. Get your swimsuits on, dredge up some hotel towels, pack dry clothes and pool toys, then schlep through the hotel lobby wearing nothing but a swimsuit and a bathrobe. Take the stairs and a lo-o-o-ong hallway through a scary basement full of clanking pipes. You are now approximately one-half mile from your room. Disrobe, toss the toys in the pool, toss yourself in the pool, and convince the reluctant preschooler to join you. It is at precisely this moment he will say "Mommy, I have to poop."
Do not under any circumstances give a disposable camera to a four-year-old. Especially if you have taken only one picture, which you are sure is a priceless one that you definitely want to keep and possibly frame.
The very definition of super-human strength is a pedi-cab driver. These are the guys (and yes, a few women) who pedal bicycles that haul chariots carrying lazy tourists. Our driver (rider? bicycler?) managed to pull our nearly 400 pounds uphill while giving a non-stop discourse on the history of Victoria. No huffing, no puffing, not a bead of sweat. They oughta be in the Olympics.
When the McStarbucks barista says the strawberry cream frappucino is an appropriate drink for a child, do not believe him. He is a child-free hipster who has never heard of the term "sugar buzz."
