mombrain

Blog Book Tour: It's a Girl!

Grade: A+++

I'm immensely pleased to be kicking off the blog book tour for It's a Girl, which was just published by Seal Press. Now, those who know MomBrain know that I read a lot of books, and I can be hard to please. But few books have given me as much pleasure or provoked as much thought as this one.

Disclaimer: I do not have a daughter. I have a son, the (in)famous Little Guy, who has taught me everything I know about Legos and construction equipment. He has also made me realize -- deeply and against all my early feminist training -- that boys really are different from girls. So before I say anything else about this book, I need to apologize to all my friends who have daughters. For years I have carried the smug and secret belief that they had an easier job. After all, they were girls once themselves. Unlike me, the mother of a son, they speak the language. They know the emotional terrain. They have a map. (Pause for hysterical laughter ... now ducking the rotten tomatoes ...)

What I did not realize, until I read this book, is that raising girls may not be harder, but it's so much more complex. I mean, it's hard enough just to raise your kid to adulthood in one piece. But raising a girl also requires opening the Hefty bag of issues that every woman I know carries with her. As for me, I open my personal Hefty bag only during secret, private moments of despair. And I can go for weeks pretending it doesn't even exist. But reading this book made me realize what a luxury it is to untangle my issues with femininity just as I have always done: privately and with little risk to others.

Question: My son loves my soft, squishy, huggable body. But what would I do if my daughter developed an eating disorder, after a lifetime of watching me struggle with my weight?

Question: I'm grateful for the amazing amount of time the Big Guy plays with and cares for the Little Guy. But what feelings of weird jealousy might be stirred by Daddy's little princess?

Question: The Little Guy will grow up to be yet another privileged white male in a culture made for men like him. But what would I tell my daughter about her future as a mother and wife, when I myself feel so betrayed by all those rosy feminist promises?

Reading "It's a Girl" will make me a better friend, a better daughter, and someday a better mother-in-law. So thank you to all who contributed. I am humbled, enlightened, and grateful to you for sharing your experience, which is entirely different -- and more complicated in so many ways -- than mothering a son.

Marriott Hotel - Dayton OH

At first glance, or sniff, the Marriott Hotel in Dayton, Ohio is a no go. It smells exactly like what it is - a McHotel that has recently converted most of its rooms from smoking to non-smoking. So instead of a fresh-as-a-daisy smell, you get that  too-sweet air freshener smell that's covering up the stale cigarette smell in the carpet.

Anyone who knows MomBrain can tell you she has a very delicate sniffer. We do not suffer icky smells gladly. And so it took a couple hours to get past the olfactory onslaught and see that the Dayton Marriott is a work in progress, with some lovely touches. Despite the same old hotel room decor, consider the poofy down comforters on the new mattresses ... the count 'em ... eight pillows that are perfectly squishy and firm at the same time ... the waterfall showerhead ... the high speed Internet access in the room ... the large park with running trails and pond and acres of grass and trees. I woke up headache-free, which is unusual when I'm traveling because in addition to my high olfactory standards, I also have pillow issues.

Sadly, after my champagne waterfall shower (complete with hoity toity toiletries), I realized the downside of being next to a park; namely, we are not next to a Starbucks. The hotel has no coffeeshop, no breakfast restaurant, no muffins in the lobby. The nearest restaurants are only a mile away, but I didn't rent a car and I'm still hobbling on a broken foot. So I settled for gift shop coffee and reminded myself that I probably won't die if I skip breakfast. And lunch.

Other notes: The Business Center is just a computer in the corner of the gift shop. Lovely indoor pool, though a bit on the small side. Friendly service, thorough housekeeping, and a comfy lobby with wireless Internet access.

Grade: B

Book Review: Literary Mama

Welcome to the latest stop on the Blogging Book Tour for Literary Mama: Reading for the Maternally Inclined.

"What?" you might ask. "I thought Literary Mama was a Web site!" And indeed it is. But it is also now a book, a collection of the best essays culled from the Web site. And they are truly, truly fab.

Many, many books line the walls of MomBrain's home. But only a few have many, many passages underlined, and this is one of them. I couldn't help myself. So much of it spoke to my experiences as a mother and a writer that the old purple pen got quite a workout.

I <heart> this book. It's an amazing combination of humor, grief and grace that had me alternately weeping and smiling. Love it, love it, love it.

MomBrain's Favorite Things 2005

It's the post you've been waiting for! It's the annual list of MomBrain's Favorite Things, conveniently posted just before Christmas. However, unlike Oprah, I will not be giving away free goodies to members of our studio audience. No, my ducks, you must satisfy yourself with hot links. So ... here are the things I just can't live without.

Past years have featured my favorite tea, but coffee has now joined my morning routine. And nothing else will do but Torrefazione Italia.

Revlon ColorStay Lipstick is my mainstay. Make mine "Spice."

My very favorite PJs are Nautica English Floral Lawn. Yes, they're girly. I wear them straight out of the dryer and miss them when they're in the laundry. They are also popular among cross-dressers and drag queens. I know this becuase they are highly reviewed on fagnits.com. I am not sure how this makes me feel.

If Santa has any kind feelings for me at all, he will leave this sweet little number in my driveway.

Time to go shopping!

Book Review: It's a Boy

In which MomBrain engages in shameless self-promotion ...

Here at MomBrain HQ we are all atwitter over the recent publication of "It's a Boy." Full disclosure - "It's a Boy" includes an essay by moi. But while I'm always happy to see my work in print, I am humbled to be in the company of writers I've admired for years.

Raising a boy is the weirdest combination of sublime and bizarre. And although kids are kids to some degree, boys raise different issues. When do you stop prancing around naked in front of your little boy? How do you drag a reluctant preschool boy into the Ladies Room with Mom? When is it not okay for a boy to wear pink? How do you explain to the mothers of well-behaved girls that being a wiggly mess is just part of your son's DNA?

If you have a boy, wish you had a boy, are curious about boys - buy this book. If your friend is pregnant with a boy - give her this book for Christmas. If you are a boy - give it to your Mom. Also, if you would like to read about how the Little Guy thumbed his nose and came into existence despite an ancient and powerful curse, buy this book. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll tell your friends!