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And finally, the very best part of coming home to a Little Guy who is just learning to read and spell. Trumpeted in the airport and accompanied by a big hug:
"I love you, M-O-M-Y!!!"
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And finally, the very best part of coming home to a Little Guy who is just learning to read and spell. Trumpeted in the airport and accompanied by a big hug:
"I love you, M-O-M-Y!!!"
Pity poor MomBrain. Jet-lagged, caffeine-deprived and late for a workshop, she left her wallet -- with her hotel room key -- at the local McStarbucks. But she didn't realize it until much later. This is how she found herself walking a mile. In the snow. Uphill. With a broken foot.
I made it to workshop #2, which was so crowded I had to sit on the floor for an hour and a half. Lunch followed, and by then I had a full-blown migraine. So I skipped the rest of the afternoon and headed back to the hotel, where I bought aspirin and People Magazine, luxuriated in a hot shampoo-bubble bath, and napped for an hour. I am still woozy and sick, but I'm wearing my favorite jammies, which is a very good thing. Next step: room service, then I'll work on an article that's due in less than a week that I haven't even started.
Thanks for joining us as we blog-cast live from the Erma Bombeck Humor Writing Workshop in downtown cosmopolitan Dayton, Ohio.
300 humor writers are here, ranging from wannabes to stars, most of them genuinely amusing and eager to network. I feared it would be a lot of forced hilarity, a bunch of tap-dancing clowns of the type I find exhausting. But I've met some charming people, and hope to meet some charming editors in the next couple of days, preferably very powerful editors who are looking for writers JUST LIKE ME.
Actual workshops start tomorrow, but tonight was all about the meet & greet. The usual conference dinner was served in the ballroom, with instant potatoes and chardonnay that was warmer than the chicken. But Dave Barry was the keynote speaker, and the man is genuinely funny.
Also, I was the most popular girl in class when people discovered I had a digital camera with me. I now have many pictures of smiling strangers hugging Dave Barry, plus a little stack of business cards with cryptic key words written on them like "beard" and "flowers."
At first glance, or sniff, the Marriott Hotel in Dayton, Ohio is a no go. It smells exactly like what it is - a McHotel that has recently converted most of its rooms from smoking to non-smoking. So instead of a fresh-as-a-daisy smell, you get that too-sweet air freshener smell that's covering up the stale cigarette smell in the carpet.
Anyone who knows MomBrain can tell you she has a very delicate sniffer. We do not suffer icky smells gladly. And so it took a couple hours to get past the olfactory onslaught and see that the Dayton Marriott is a work in progress, with some lovely touches. Despite the same old hotel room decor, consider the poofy down comforters on the new mattresses ... the count 'em ... eight pillows that are perfectly squishy and firm at the same time ... the waterfall showerhead ... the high speed Internet access in the room ... the large park with running trails and pond and acres of grass and trees. I woke up headache-free, which is unusual when I'm traveling because in addition to my high olfactory standards, I also have pillow issues.
Sadly, after my champagne waterfall shower (complete with hoity toity toiletries), I realized the downside of being next to a park; namely, we are not next to a Starbucks. The hotel has no coffeeshop, no breakfast restaurant, no muffins in the lobby. The nearest restaurants are only a mile away, but I didn't rent a car and I'm still hobbling on a broken foot. So I settled for gift shop coffee and reminded myself that I probably won't die if I skip breakfast. And lunch.
Other notes: The Business Center is just a computer in the corner of the gift shop. Lovely indoor pool, though a bit on the small side. Friendly service, thorough housekeeping, and a comfy lobby with wireless Internet access.
Grade: B
Dear Mr. Jobs,
MomBrain loves her iPod. Truly, she does. It's right up there with the Sack and her suede kitty purse in terms of favorite things. But those dang earbuds are my least favorite thing, because they HURT.
Surely MomBrain can't be the only iPod fan with delicate, princess-like ear holes. So in the interest of preventing further damage to my soft tissues, can't you make smaller earbuds for your more delicate fans? Our cartilage will thank you.
Hugs and kisses,
MomBrain
